david the director

Friday, November 25, 2011

First I am driving a Volkswagen. Turning a curve on a mountainous road. I want to fit the car into like a glove or a parking space. As  I try to do it,  I reach the curve and then decide its better if I go around the curve first  pull off the road and do it there so no one behind me will crash into me-

I am able to do it. Then I find myself with a man there, the situation changes now instead of fitting the car into the glove I want to make love with the man, we are in a lovely mood enjoying each other, and I feel free and adored by this new fellow.

He finds out they want him to direct a new Broadway play and they want me to act in it too. We go to stay in a hotel they have picked out for us. I get some new clothes . We are in the hotel room. We don’t use our names as we don’t want anyone to find us. This new man is very famous. His name is David, I don’t know much about him - he's very intriguing.  We see some men run by, in front of our windows. They are up to something- I think they must be  on the roof but when I look out I see our room is on the first floor.  

Mary and family arrive at our room. Darryl has met a large group of tourists and has been filming them but the film was done badly and has to be thrown away. Somehow he is also Sidney and I am annoyed he spends all this time taking films of people he hardly knows when he could be with the family.

Mary tells me we are all going to the beach, I must change into my bathing suit. Doris jacoby starts to go through my suitcase wants to see what kind of clothes I have and how I have packed. I know she wont be impressed.

I am disturbed by her nosiness.

The best part of the dream is the acceptance and care from this david man.

Thanksgiving 11/24/11-
 Very sleepy today so this is a nap dream
It is so wonderful to awaken from a nap when the dream is still with you.
I was walking through our bottom floor apartment. We lived in a project where all the apartments were attached and only one floor.
AS I walked from room to room everyone was gone I wondered where could they be. Must be outside I thought. There they were, all looking up at the sky, with our neighbor, a kind of strange guy who had been telling us he was seeing things in the sky. Sure enough I looked up and there was a circle of pulsating and emerging light and color in the middle of the daylight sky,  reds and yellows - kind of like a ring of fire . I watched for a while wondering what it was .
“Oh my god I thought this is real, He’s right. Something’s going on. How far can people see this i wonder. How extensive is the view.”My mother my father Sammy our entire family is there together.
Then I was told oh this is a show of what others have seen.  Someone had put it up for us to view. Then this is not actually happening now? I ask disappointed- then I can’t really believe it - they may be putting up something that is false...
The young neighbor guy said “I’ve been indicted.’
“ For what?”  I ask.
“They don’t like that I’m telling peole about this”
“But indicted doesn’t mean your going to jail... just that they want to talk with you”  I say.
 I feel a connection with this guy. They are siting around a table outside with treats and drinks. I start helping move things back into our apartment not really sure what’s our and what’s his.
 My mother says to him. “You really shouldn’t let aunt Lil do everything for you”, chastising him.
I realize with this statement how much she adores this fellow and want s to mother him. I feel connected to him because I don’t really fit in my family as I’m a wee bit weird like him.   I Sense that he’s interested in me and that makes me happy,.

Skyscraper

Last night Joan and I went out to a blind tasting dinner at Makawao Bistro

The dream

I am in a tall skyscraper in the city on the top of the roof. I can see see the tiny lights of the buildings below.

 I am with some young children. We decide to make some music with bells and things that little kids use. I go into the kindergarten class to borrow the equipment.

I see the previous teachers there.

They are in the nude.

They are all very tall -I see a man with long legs his nude backside facing me.

It’s like they are hippy types and thought everyone was gone for the day so they took off their clothes.

Another part of the dream

It’s a party I want to take some videos – I look for the camera. A man who used to be my husband- a wee bit of Gerardo and Julian and someone else- -is using the movie camera and he is taking pictures  of touching very very slowly some soft food like substance- he looks at me – I know he would like to go back with me again but it is too late - too impossible. He kisses me in the same slow intricate way. It is very sad.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dreaming of super guy. Wore blue slick outfit- could disappear...- then there were 2 girls having so much fun laughing and playing together- it was frowned upon.

We were trying to discover something…

Reminds me that I should have fun with john.

dogs and cats

Went to the farmer Meeting last night Oct 25 2011. Saw Harriet looking at some kittens in a box.

All I can remember right now was there was rough mountain terrain to cross downhill lead by some fast moving goats who were leashed.

Arrival at the place in the mountains there were dogs and kittens - the dogs were attacking the kittens. The kittens were attacking another creature. We had to keep them separate of there would be bedlam.

I moved a kitten up near me. I watched the other kittens care for the wounded ones-

There was a long story but I can’t seem to pick up on it.

10/16/11

Sunday- going to HANA TODAY WITH JOHN.

Non stop dream last night-

I would awaken and go back to the dream I was in.

I was traveling. And staying with some local people.

They lived in the city.

While I was having the dream I was also dreaming about the painting I am working on-throughout the dream I wanted to remember that I must paint a solid light background and  a darker outline with dark circles overlay...

There was a woman and a man.

Someone needed to go to the hospital and be treated... was it me?

The woman was very kindly- good-looking couple... professional -

They really wanted to help me. At one point he was like my father. I wanted to show him the drawing I was doing...

Some were my own - some were copies...

Would he care in a way that my father never did??

They were pencil drawings...

She worked in the hospital. I needed to get back to their apartment. She gave me her phone to call the husband.

Back at the apartment- I begin to lay out my things on low living room type table in their bedroom.Jewelry- spiritual objects...Then I tell thme I really need my own room. They take me to a room in the back that can be mine.

A nice room.

(The next part of the dream I had awakened and gone back to sleep)

We wake up the next morning.

THE WOMEN has gone off to work...

I can tell they want me to stay as long as I care to. Very generous.

 I ask him what the rents are like. Can be reasonable $125 a month he says How many rooms - just one he says.. And what are the salaries like?

Also about $125 a month. So you would have to share with some one else. Yes he says.In the poor section of the city-  this are what travelers do.

I begin to tell them about staying with a family in Costa Rica..

( true story) that even thought there were maybe 15 people living in a small place everyone gave each other space.. The man really enjoys this story- he is smiling at me in a way that tells me he thinks i am very interesting

 Sue Siegel is also staying here. She says I like this tent. (Apparently she was sleeping in a tent in the other room.)

"Can i buy it?" she asks-  wants to keep on traveling and camp out.

I like this family. I am enjoying staying with them. But i wouldn’t want to have to work to rent an apartment here. Nor do i want to live on a city.

The man goes off to work i sit in the living room with an older women who watches TV all day long. I think to myself it is good to visit with family when you travel because they really like you and want you to stay.

And you have a strong connection to them,

They are not direct family more like cousins of my ex-husband...

Better still\

I wake up and try to think do i have relatives anywhere in the world that i can visit??

Dreams there have been many-

9/6/2011

Last night was about our little girl...

A few years old.

Mostly she had to be held- not old enough to walk yet.

Precious little girl.

I gave her to her father to hold.

We were getting in a car – I watcher her climb in. I loved her very much.

Maybe she was Nicaraguan

Previously.

There were people after us..

I was studying with lama Michael Roach...

They (the bad guys) have put frogs, spiders, geckos into my clothing. I had to take my clothes off in the bathroom.

There was a lunch break. We went outside...

We were playing...

Running through the grass...

I thought I could fly, ah but this is not a dream so you can not fly I say to myself...

Then I see Teton. She is jumping off a roof and landing perfectly on a fence around the lanai... so beautiful that jump- just perfect

Now we are at a parking a lot.

The bad men have taken the car door off Nathan’s car - during the day time. How did they do that with no one looking. We complain to the parking lot attendant

I see they have taken my watch off my hand suddenly while I’m complaining.

Monday, August 22, 2011- Growing fingers

Went to see damn Yankees last night with Charlie

Awoke at 5 am. And went back to sleep

I had gone to see a guru.

I went back to my room I had a very heavy object which contained pictures of this guru and others hanging from a log that helps hold up the ceiling of my room. I was with a friend who said she took it down because she thought it might collapse the ceiling.

I looked at the pictures. Then something happened. My fingers began changing sizes. The index finger world suddenly gain an ¼ inch or so. The pinky would get tiny... then the ring finger would get long and another would get smaller. I went back out to the living room where my brother and others were and showed them what was happening. I could feel the spiritual energy surging through me. So I knew that it came form some transmission.

I didn’t know why it was happening or what it meant. We were standing outside. And the guru comes by. Everyone wants to talk to him- he says he wants to meet with the new people - the ones he hasn’t met yet. So I step back. I see Amy krantz in the crowd- I smile at her and she smiles back. I know this is some kind of reconciliation.

A little later when he is alone, I approach him and show him what’s going on with my fingers. He also doesn’t knowm, but tells me a story about people how who come to him for cures and later they get healed. He doesn’t know how it happens but it does. He assumes that what’s happening with my fingers has similar explanation. We are standing together high on a mountain. My brother and some friends are walking on a path below. I realized I have been inside all the time and should be seeing this marvelous mountain. I realize the Guru doesn’t really know what’s happening to me either. But I do know its spiritual energy because I feel it strongly in my body. The view from the mountain is glorious. There was something else when I was back in the living room with my brother and others. He was talking about the translation of some spiritual books that I was doing. "She believes this crazy stuff," he says to Zara... She agrees with him since – 
"oh come on Zara," I say to my brother. "She believes more way out stuff then me."

It’s very strange in my dream watching these fingers getting longer and shorter.


this is Kalu Rinpoche- I received an empowerment from him the other night-
he didn't look like the guru in the dream who was alot older. 

Kalu Rinpoche

Tonight I went to the dharma center to welcome Kalu Rinpoche. I had met his  previous reincarnation quite  few times in the 80's I guess. Very wonderful powerful beautiful mind heart and soul. This young new Lama 21 years old charming friendly. I dropped the kata just as he was in front of me . He picked it up from the ground and placed it round my neck.

August 16th 2011

Woke up with a snatch of a dream.

If you want to remember your dreams,­­­­ tell yourself before you go to sleep at night. And when you awake in the morning don’t - I SAY DON’T - move your head or the dream will pour out and spill into dark matter.

So I lay in my bed with the image caught in those last moments of the dream, and then gradually more and more came back... not all, I’m sure, but I did get an insight into my life...

So ya wanna hear it?

I was in some play being made into a movie - I was a young guy, maybe 30 or so... there was an old woman and a middle aged man.

I said to the director "You could have spent more than 15 minutes in Queens to find the right actor (I was referring to the middle aged, balding, plump man who seemed inadequate for the part.) We were going to sleep on bunk beds - and we were watching a video of a elderly women who had a terrible problem with her mouth since birth. She reveals such pathos, such deep sensitivity, she is so moving, I realize we MUST have her in the movie instead of the actress we have now.

We travel out to her home. The boy actor (who’s not me any longer) has the same malady. The mouth is shaped like a flower but you can not speak with it. He shows the woman he has the same condition. In the dream we realize that this will make everything alright. That the love and understanding between the boy and the woman is immediate. And suddenly that affliction becomes something wondrous like the blooming of of a hundred flowers in a delicious garden.

I now become Helen and have to find a room to sleep in. I go to my room, but my father Sidney has put a young girl there leaving light on for her. (she’s scared to sleep in the dark). But I can not sleep with the light on. I realize I can go and sleep in Arthur’s room (this is my cousin Arthur- it turns out he is the young actor in the movie and now he looks chubbier thatn he did as a youth) there is an extra bed in his room. I am delighted to be sharing the room with him.

While pondering this dream, I see the vulnerability of both Arthur and the woman is very touching. The inadequate man looks like my father in his middle age. And now I think of my current boyfriend who wears his vulnerability proudly. Unlike my father who tried to hide it beneath bravado. I see that vulnerably reveals such sweetness in men... and suddenly I now feel a deeper closeness and understanding of my father. And see my current boyfriend is like my father in that aspect and my heart opens to both of them..

My father, Sidney Kritzler, on his wedding day

Dreams and nightmarish love & hate -
 Oh what dear mind will you bring to my fate? 

 Tonight I listened to a talk of black holes

 Galaxies eating other galaxies

a million times larger than our sun, 

Particles emerging and disappearing out of nothing- virtual energy.

Will these thoughts enter my dream world?

I think not...